Lots of news. I will post some pics soon. Actually, truth be told, I have been a bit preoccupied and something as small as charging my batteries for my camera has not been a priority.
Is the name of the baby, so chosen by my five year old Marcus. Well for now it's"Knuckles". And Knuckles is giving me one heck of a ride through these first few weeks of pregnancy. I went for a scan this week and we are now 11 weeks pregnant. So Knuckles will be born in December around Christmas time and we are thinking that if it is a boy "Jesus" is a cool name ... just jokes. But how cute Marcus is in his prayers at night, asking God to look after mum and Knuckles. So now we all call the new person knuckles.
I must admit that the scan was helpful. I am not a clucky woman (I know, hard to believe, not!) and have never really had lovey dovey feelings about being pregnant and babies. Not even my own. However this does not mean I don't love my kids, because it doesn't. And I love other peoples babies (cos I can give 'em back). Yes I love my kids very much. I just find them a bit more relateable when they become rational people. My husband adores infants thank God.
When I saw the scan and saw the wee heart beating and a body in my womb it hit me, "that's a person". I do not enjoy screaming infants, baby bags, drool, unbearably long days of having only a baby for company, etc and fair enough, who does. I have friends who excel in this time, I don't. However, I do like them when they are older, moldable. I understand to each their own. This is my own preference.
However Knuckles is coming into a welcoming excited family. My three act as if they are pregnant - my two sons and husband that is. And I am more mellowed and my mind is slowly catching up to my body which seems to have yet again, become an entity unto itself. Some anti-nausea tablets from the doctor have helped too.
I miss out on meeting a rather influential person this month due to illness which saddens me. However I look forward to meeting her again under different circumstances. Nina is in the country right now (sigh) and I am here in cold, chilly Wellington battling nausea and a chest infection, with a sick child to boot. I love Nina and what she represents yet I have never met her. How is it possible? Through her blog and through seeing her work which speaks for itself. Yes, I have faith we will meet one day and then I will awhi her and never let her go (for a few days at least).
My own work feels as though it has taken a rather significant if small step forward. Still in an infant stage but with the sense that this could grow, I am developing the idea and prototypes of complex cloth, a form of art work in which I can express culture, whanau and spiritual values as I understand them. A series of works that will be the embodiement of my childrens historical origins as well as a set of signposts for future hopes.
What does that actually look like ... well, if my camera was working I could show you my first piece. It is a cloth-canvas (2m x 1.2m approx) created from eco-dyed silks, wool and cotton; laboriously handstitched and embroidered (well, I am in this process as we speak with hours of work left). I am still unsure why this is what I am giving birth to in my art practice but my research shows themes of 'identity', culture, context and narrative with my eye being drawn to texture.
Suffice to say, I am happiest when I am 'making'. When I am making something, as it forms in my hands, then my own natural creative juices seem more evident than in the more formal design process. Somehow it is hard to translate the experience of texture formed with textiles, stitch and embellishment on a 2D piece of paper through thumbnails. Still art school helps provide these sometimes useful techniques, creating a more evolved approach to making than just being inspired by materials. And I am coming to appreciate that art is about layers of meaning. However these layers are usually only important to the artist. To others, all that matters is that it looks good, or at least provocative. Whitireia Polytech where I am a student works on developing conceptual artists, who can take an idea and give it depth, meaning and soul. This is my understanding of what we are being pushed to develop.
Again, I am such an infant in these matters, but I am a little more relaxed these days, not sweating the fact I won't learn everything all at once. I am more mellow, enjoying things more and happily allowing myself to be focused on one thing at a time. Being chronically sick has forced me to chill out which is a positive outcome ... I guess.
It is with some sadness that as a family we left our home church of the past six years today. It has been a wonderful season, we are richer for it and look forward to our adventures ahead. Our church acknowledged our input, my husband having especially been dedicated and committed to the music ministry. We were released with love and tears. We look back and are grateful for these experiences and the people who we have been privileged to journey with. Next week we start church-shopping for a new home church. For us, we love being part of a community of people who are God-oriented. I have met many people who love God both inside and outside of church. We love church community, which meets so many needs we have, as well as the opportunity to bless others and be available to give back into our city. In the meantime, the lawns still need mowing, the cars need cleaning and the budget updated.
Thank you for leaving comments. I enjoy 'meeting' new people this way and hearing from 'old friends' who visit frequently. As the morning sickness abates, I hope to post more regularly.
Much love and warm thoughts from Wellington. R.