Friday, July 10, 2009
Real heroes ...
It's quiet here. I am having one of those spells. Where my creative self has to take a back seat to life. Hugging my baby to me as he struggles to breathe, making sure my children are warm and comfortable as they recover from a nasty bout of flu, keeping my home orderly and germ free, and trying to stay calm and friendly as my husband enters the door after a long day at work is about as much as I can handle right now.
We have been baking up a storm in our housebound state. Anzac biscuits, muesli cookies, breakfast muffins, blueberry ones too, and yummy meals as I entice children who need nourishment back to life again. The kids like all the mixing and making and licking the bowl at the end. Somehow when there is baking in the cupboards, something feels very right in my home. I'm certain its my maternal instinct to nurture and provide going into overdrive.
And kick in it needed to. My little six month old Knuckles had a steady 39-40 degree temp for eight days straight. Listless. Glazed eyes. Just miserable and desparately unwell. Visits to the doctor and then the hospital in the middle of the night. Coupled with my ill six year old who lay on the couch for seven days and needed carrying to the toilet, he was so weak with flu. I am sure we were just running on pure adrenalin.
I am so grateful to have a husband who is very loving and kind. Who cares about my well-being. Who falls back and sacrifices himself for his wife and children. I hear of other men who don't support their wives and it just boggles my brain. Richard is very selfless when it comes to our family. In fact he has at times been accused of being too soft and spineless. Funny, that if a man should care for his family and enjoy being at home with them, then there is something wrong with him. But if he plays rugby and swills beers back by the dozen and goes pig hunting or works 60 hour weeks then that's all good.
I don't think beer and rugby make a man, that's for sure. I prefer one that gives a damn about his kids and his partner. One that can clean a house, cook a kai, change nappies, do laundry and sing as he goes about it. Then goes out to work and returns home with a good spirit. One who checks my face as he walks in the door to ascertain how our day went. One who lets me sleep when I am tired. Who pushes me out the door to go and have fun. One who wouldn't blink if I needed to go away for a while. He is quite happy at home with his boys.
He lets me bleat on and listens when I'm having a moan, then just encourages me to do what is best for me and the boys. He does our budget and trusts me with money and never questions me about what I buy. He'll just caution me when funds are low to be careful. He's never complained about what I buy even when it's been ridiculous and I deserved a growl.
He doesn't moan, he never complains, like NEVER EVER. He doesn't whinge. Nor backstab or criticise others. He's a worshipful man who loves God and is so respectful to others.
He ain't perfect. He forgets so many things it drives me nuts. He's too quiet sometimes and I just about have to shake him to get a noise out. He's private and sometimes deals with things all by himself instead of sharing. He'll avoid conflict rather than battle about something. Still, I'm also certain I am no easy walk in the park type of wife either. I have my own share of complicatedness for him to navigate.
But in all of this there is something so inherently good about my husband. I like the security my marriage brings. The fact that we share everything, the raising of the boys and running our home especially. We work hard to stay connected. I think relationships are more women's area of expertise. Men need them, but I think we just understand nurturing and growing people a little more, and the value in it all.
And he's done all the midnight shifts with our babies. He's gold alright. I am so thankful he is in my life. He's our very own real life hero me thinks!
And a bit of real life romance, my friend Nina over at Ornamental has a new 'friend'. I am so happy for her I could burst. She's one of my favourite all time artists and I am glad she has found love again.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always 'me first'.
Doesn't fly off the handle.
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
Doesnt revel when others grovel.
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.
Puts up with anything.
Trusts God always.
Always looks for the best.
Never looks back.
But keeps going to the end.
1 Corinthians 13
"The Way of Love"